I am not ready for IVF or adoption...


Hey there everyone I hope you are all having a great day and are staying safe. I wanted to talk to all of you about something that I always come across when talking to people about having kids and the fact that I do have them yet. I will start by saying that I do hold a grudge against anyone or have any negative feelings towards anyone this is simply something that I have observed in my life and in the stories I hear from friends that I talk to, and I know that most people do not mean this in a malicious way it is just that people are not taught how to talk to others about subjects that are kept hush, hush. I am also not excusing anyone so if you didn't know and you came across my post well then now you know and you can now keep this in mind. Now, let's get right to it I am as many of you know on a fertility journey and you know that I am open with how I feel about what is going on with that and everything that comes with it. I am looking to do things naturally and have not looked at others ideas yet that are way more invasive and much more expensive for me to have kids.


I have heard it all when it comes to advice it feels like to me. I have heard all the, "relax and stop thinking about it so much" "it will happen when its supposed to happen" "it happened for me when I just relaxed after trying so hard" "well why don't you try IVF" "why don't you just adopt" "maybe you aren't meant to have your own I'll carry it for you" "just relax" "it will happen in its own time" "just go to a doctor and let them do it for you" "well you are still young" "why don't you get donor eggs or sperm" "why do you have to try so hard just let go of it and live your life" "life is bigger then just having kids" "just don't think about it" "just enjoy your freedom you get to live your life" "just live for yourself and don't worry about kids"


Now I have to say, that I didn't write these things out to make anyone feel bad that is not my intention I wrote them out to show that it is nothing more then something people are saying to try to understand where you are coming from but not having the experience they need to deal with it in a manner that is in no way triggering for you accidentally. It is just not the most talked about subject and you have to remember that if you want those around you to really know how to approach this subject them let them ask questions and let them talk to you about it and let them be a part of that conversation. As someone who has gone through multiple IUIs and taken lots of hormones and done lots of fertility tests and had losses I never feel like I am being attacked by anyone that cares about me.


I guess what I am saying is expose them to that conversation and let them know what is going on with you and do not ever feel ashamed or embarrassed about what you are going through because no one is perfect. I hear these things and I know that I am not ready for IVF or adoption or anything like that and I finally healthy and it just brings back so many traumatic memories for me that I do not what to experience again and I am also not to go through again. I am not in a rush to make a decision at this very moment in time and if I have to then I am just going to keep doing what I am doing and not worry about what others think.


I truly am the person that believes that people are not trying to be mean or hurtful when they care about you they just need to be exposed to something that they do not understand. Its okay to be where you are and feel how you do and in the end the road to a baby is what ever is right for you and your life not anyone else's life. If you are not ready then you are not ready and you have to set those boundaries with people and remember that there is not a one size fits all path to having a child if you are ready for the process of IVF, IUI, surrogacy, natural, or adoption or whatever you are planning to do then go down that path with your head held high and remember that there is nothing to be ashamed of and you should never let anyone make you feel like you are less than for not taking the route that they took to having a child. Your path is your path and you are the one that gets to pave that path however you see fit. I will never feel bad for not being ready for something and I will never be ashamed for not being able to easily get pregnant or having a hard road to baby to me that just makes my end result that much sweeter for us and that is the only way that I can and will see it forever.


My path is for and yours is for you and I applaud you for that and say that I am proud because you followed your path. I want you to remember that you are smart and wonderful and you are an amazing soul! I want to end this here and thank you for coming back to read my latest post and want to invite you to join me again! Till next time!


XOXO

Silvia T.

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