Hey there guys! Today, I wanted to talk about something that has always been a struggle for me and that is reproductive health. My body has always been a bit delicate and I have worked hard to be healthy and stay that way. All though I have always been able to be very active and eat very healthy I still cannot control the things that I do not see like my hormones, well at least I can only control it to a certain point.
Let's start with the fact that I feel like this is something that most people don't talk about and try to brush under the rug and if they do talk about it there is a lot of insensitivity about it like you should be ashamed about talking about. Now, I am just speaking in general so don't come for me but I say this about this subject from experience. I have had fibroids and had them taken out and with that I noticed more so people had these kinds of reactions because they didn't understand what was going on with me. Fibroids for those of you who do not know are fibrous tissue masses that are benign but can mistaken for tumors sometimes and once they develop there is a chance if you remove them that they can develop again. There are about 3 million cases of fibroids reported per year and they happen before the onset of menopause. The reason they happen during this time is because they happen to women during their child bearing years and once that is over there is less of a chance of having them. Now, the reason that they are a concern is because they cause heavier bleeding then usual and they can grown in size which might cause you to get hem removed and that is a whole other post that we can go into later.
Anyway, I had fibroids and then I got pregnant and had SCH or better known as subchorionic hemorrhage with the fibroids while I was pregnant which cause me to have a preterm labor. SCH is a small pocket of blood that prevents the placenta from attaching to the uterus all the way and can be the cause of preterm labor. While I was pregnant my fibroids started to grow and the SCH got worse which left me on bed rest as told my doctor. I remember thinking that it was a possibility that I could lose the baby but I had made it into the "safe zone" of 17 weeks and that was the day that all of those things aligned to bring me into preterm labor. We welcomed our son Logan and said goodbye all in less than a day. Then my doctor had me go in to have my fibroids removed so I could have them removed. (That is also a different post that I have under my fertility category.) Anyway, since then I have found that people have gotten more aggressive with me on my health and asking questions.
Keep in mind if these questions came in a more sincere manner then that might make me feel different and if people were more sensitive to the fact that my body went through a trauma then that would also make me have a different sentiment but sadly that is not the case with most people that I have come across. Now, I hope that people are able to read this and know when they are being insensitive to others who have problems and know that even if you mean your words to come from a place of caring that you can choose to say them in a better manner. I have gotten a lot of "when are you having kids" or "well at least you had them out so you shouldn't lose another" or "are you pregnant yet" or "you shouldn't do that if you want to get pregnant" or "since you can't get pregnant just adopt". Now, I can say that a few of these were said out of love and concern but they are still painful nonetheless when you yourself do not understand what you are asking or saying.
I say this because I know how deeply that knife can cut and I know that when you are not ready to talk about things it is hard to hear and listen to others about. I am not here to say everyone is wrong for taking time to care that is not what I mean at all and if that is what you got then I think you missed my point so I will spell it out for you. Just be more considerate of the person you are wanting to say these things too! Be aware that if you had gone through something that they have been through you would not want to talk about it and you would feel like you aren't normal because your body is acting without your consent. In a situation like this you do not have full control of your body and you have no idea if you do not have medical issues what that is like. It is like you are watching the car drive itself from the backseat into oncoming traffic sometimes and you can't do anything to stop it even after you have tried all you can try. BE MORE COMPASSIONATE AND UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING OF PEOPLE! That goes especially when people do not want to talk about it and just humor you. Trust me when I say that it is hard enough on them with out you pushing them to have a conversation they are not ready to have themselves.
My best advice is to say it to yourself before you open your mouth and see if you would want someone asking YOU that if the roles were reversed. This goes for anyone in your life significant others, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, friends,...the list can go on and on. The world has grown cold and it could use a little more kindness so be careful with your words and ask yourself if you would like to have that said to you, if the answer is no then you probably shouldn't be asking that. Okay, I know that this was a long one but I had to get this off my chest and please keep caring, being reasonably patient with people, understanding, and accepting because they might just need time to process things and then they can have that conversation with you. Don't think that ever having that conversation is wrong because you never know who you might relate to in the end. All right till next time guys.